July 30 - What a Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday was an oh-so-much better day than our Wednesday.

After the smoke clears (from the fire-breathing moods, that is) it truly makes me feel good that I do know why we have those dark days ... because I KNOW me so well. (this wasn't always the case) And the "why" is pretty important for awareness and conscious change.

AND, an even more recent discovery (and thus work done and to be done) is truly allowing myself to go to the dark places and BE SEEN there. Share. Vent. (throw the tantrum, right?!)

Now, clearly there are better and more appropriate-for-all ways to throw a good ol' fit (i.e. NOT in front of your 2 year old unless you want them to follow suit. Alas, we're human.) But, I'm clear that "throwing it" in a more constructive way is the best way to MOVE THROUGH IT (to quote a great friend!). To honor where you are ... even if "UGLY"

And after my deep breathing (smiles) ... I was reminded of my previous blog entry. (I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.) Helps, too, in Moving Through.

What I KNOW about Me and My Daughter:
* We are both energized by and seekers of social interaction. True people-people!
* Four+ days of quarantine and little activity (due to fever and cold) does not suit either of us.
* Sketch-ville ensues after too much of the quarantine because of point #1.
* This IS what it IS
* I welcome other social-butterfly ideas for getting through these periods (coloring, movies, games. What else?) :)

So yesterday ... Ruby hung with her pre-school friends for a bit. I got out and volunteered at a cool new start up school for girls. G and I had a great-convo date night last night.

And imagine that ... all is right with my world. Ha!

An oh-so-simple adage keeps floating through my brain: Know Thyself!
And then, more importantly, ACT.
Move more freely and often in the direction of YOUR HEART, regardless of what you tell yourself life as a Mom/Dad/Family/Sibling/Daughter/Son/Sig. Other is "supposed" to look like. This is my work still to be done. Ongoing, I think ...

Love and Respect. For Us First. Which gives us the capacity to extend to OTHERS.

I'll end with the ingenious little quote Tut (the universe) had for me and others today:
"Most would never admit it, or they hide it from themselves, but everyone can sense God within.

And once admitted, they can sense God in others.

Go for it!
The Universe"

July 28 ... ARGH!

So this particular blog isn't about gratitude (other than a few choice ones, which I'll get to later).
Rather ... this blog is born of serious angst and needing to VENT.

Stay at Home Mom!
I'm going to say it ... other than a very few special people, I think SAHM is likely one of the most unbalanced and not-so-healthy-for-anyone roles to play. And, terrible twos ... why is it that I (ME) am acting more like a terrible two than my ingenious little push-every-button-in-me daughter?!! Grrrrrrrrr!

Seriously, EVERY job I've ever held in my almost 4o years (and some were demanding as hell) have been ultimately 'easier,' and so I feel I was better at them. Not to say I'm a horrible mom. I do get it/understand. Rather, a mom having a horrible (want to ship my daughter to China for a year) day!

GRRRRRRRRRRR again! Vent almost over ... I think. (wink)
Give me a minute ... Deep Breathing.

Now ... Here are my related gratitudes:
* That I have a beautiful and beautifully smart daughter to get on my every last nerve!
* That I have a night out tonight! Whew!
* That Ruby's no longer sick/feverish so she can go back to 'preschool' tomorrow ... YES!
* That my career/home-life balance IS happening, IS coming, IS on it's way ... I can FEEL it. THANK heaven for this!!!
* That everyone in my little family will feel better as we manage future days like this one with a bit more grace (BECAUSE there will be more balance in MY life)
* That so many other aspects of life will FEEL better as a result of better balance as well. This is huge. This is the crux, as they say. (what in the hell is a crux anyway?)

Off to move and SHAKE this feeling out ... it's VISCERAL, damn it!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

July 7 - New "Rules"

OK ... so it has become abundantly clear that while I'm feeling more mindful, more 'in the flow' (i.e. trusting the day to day, trusting the process) ... It does not come easy to write each day. And, in fact, I feel that it takes away from sharing/writing from that place of authentic inspiration. So ... from here forward ... I'll be blogging when PULLED to do so. I used to find myself writing little blurbs weekly. We shall see.

Ahhhhhhh. That feels good!

And, for today I want to share something that a wonderfully-beautiful connection of mine (Pierre!) shared with me months ago. I then came across it again via another wonderfully-beautiful connection (Kelly!). I love life this way!

(google: joe vitale ho'oponopono)
Here's the simple gist of this ancient Huna concept:
Take FULL responsibility for everything that shows up in your life. EVERY THING. (so powerfully validating and freeing!)
THEN, when you don't particularly enjoy what IS .... instead of denying it, pushing it away, getting angry, frustrated, etc. INSTEAD ... contemplate on it with the following 'mantra,' give it your presence: " I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you."

If you think about it a bit. Getting yourself into this state of humble acceptance around a challenging circumstance will disengage you/it. Will free you up. Will allow you to be exactly where you ARE with no denial ... RATHER ... ready to move to the next moment from a place of true PEACE. I can only imagine the power in this!

Like many-a-lesson in this crazy-cool life ... I'm off to PLAY a bit. That's often my commitment to myself. Play with a concept that resonates. See what happens. Can't hurt!! (cuz I tend to choose "can't hurt" concepts with which to play. wink. That's key! smiles!)

BIG LOVE.

July 1

Interesting day.

Nice to have slept in ... all three of us!
And, nice, too, to have Guillermo working from home so that we could bike to lunch.

Guillermo and I picked up Ru from 'school' together (also nice) ... and got a pretty quick taste just how tired the little girl must have been. Emotions running high. We all managed a chill pre-bedtime routine. And then witnessed one of her best meltdowns ever. Poor thing.

We just peeked in at her once asleep and she looks peaceful as can be (and she looks like my Mom). Ahhhhhhh.
Off to bed for all.

Gratitudes:
* The Ride!
* Oh yeah ... and a network that is seemingly 'meant to be' (I have 'that' feeling)

Good Night.
Love.

June 30 - Networks

Warm and Lazy day.
Morning at the park and lunch with Guillermo. Mmmmmm ... Indian/Nepalese food!

Afternoon - LAZY.
Playing in the shade with water and sidewalk chalk :)

The night brought another networking opportunity with neighbor (a Pilates instructor)
I am aware and GRATEFUL for just how many networking opportunities are popping up! Nice.

GRATITUDES:
* Chill day with Ru
* Networks!
* Evening out at Duo (love that place!)
* My flyers printed and ready for drop off (cross-marketing and referrals ... bring it on!)

Love.